Why investing in yourself feels unnatural.
Investing in yourself is often the hardest thing to do — especially when you’re used to giving everything to others.
You might spend years supporting, adjusting, and over-functioning in relationships, yet completely freeze when it’s time to choose your own voice.
This post is about that tension — and the voice inside that tells you not to bother.
Let me introduce you to my inner critic. His name is Roman.
The moment I even think about writing something, recording a video, or speaking up —
my inner critic shows up.
I call him Roman. Rational Roman.
And here’s what he says:
“Seriously? This has all been said before. No one needs this.
You’re not bringing anything new.
You’ll just repeat what others already did — only worse.”
But here’s the interesting part:
When I was pouring my energy into relationships that left me depleted —
Roman was quiet.
He didn’t say:
— “Is this worth it?”
— “You’re repeating emotional patterns.”
— “This won’t pay off.”
He just let me run myself empty.
Because I was in the “right” role: overgiving, adjusting, hoping.
But the second I try to invest in myself,
to speak, to show up, to simply exist visibly —
boom, Roman arrives with a TED Talk on “Why This Is a Bad Idea.”
What your inner critic is really trying to protect?
When we break the pattern.
We stop overfunctioning for others
and start existing for ourselves, invest into ourselves.
And that’s terrifying — not for the world, but for the part of us trained to play small.
To be useful, polite, supportive — but never visible.
That part will use logic, sarcasm, and even fake wisdom to keep us quiet.
Why you deserve to express yourself
I’m not here to be impressive.
I’m not here to be “the expert”.
I’m here to be honest.
I don’t have kids or a husband or a shiny success formula.
But I have thoughts.
I have emotions.
I have the desire to speak — not to teach, but to open up space.
Maybe what I say won’t be an answer.
Maybe it’ll just be a pause. A mirror. A reminder.
But if it helps someone feel a little more human —
then that’s already enough.
Self-expression is how you start investing in yourself
If I could spend years of my life in silence, in hoping, in emotional guesswork —
I can put up a few hours into my own voice.
Even if no one reads it.
Even if no one claps.
Even if I never go viral.
Because sometimes the most radical thing you can do
is simply exist out loud.
👉 Read more about how I started sharing my voice → About me
📎 Also worth reading: Understanding the inner critic
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